Why are healthy habits easy to break, but not always easy to make?

Here are 3 ways to overcome resistance so you can create habits that stick.

We’re already a month into the new year. It’s also about that time when most of us feel our motivation waning when it comes to maintaining that healthy habit we swore we’d stick to. But as Mel Robbins says, “motivation is garbage!”. 

Motivation kicks us into gear, but it doesn’t have the power of longevity we’re looking for to keep us coasting into habitville. 

Before you start thinking, “well, then what’s the point?”, hear me out. 

That feeling of resistance that’s creeping into your brain? It’s telling you something. Welcome it. Yes, I said welcome it! 

Your brain is on alert (just doing its job), and it knows that you and it are out of your comfort zones. It’s trying to backpedal into the way things used to be. 

In other words, that discomfort you’re feeling is a sign of growth. Your brain isn’t always a fan of change, but that’s ok! There’s a way to override that setting. 

Try these 3 steps to overcome what I call the “brain backpedal”: 

First, anchor your habit to a consistent time and/or pair it with an existing habit.

Let’s say you want to start meditating. Choose a time and location where you will consistently return to meditate. If it’s in your bathroom for a few minutes before everyone else in the house wakes up…great. Maybe it’s your apartment’s balcony at sunrise or sunset. 

Wherever and whenever you choose to begin this (or any) practice, try to remain consistent. Squeezing in a new habit at random times of the day could derail you from making it long-term.

Also, try anchoring your new habit to an old one–preferably one you already enjoy. For example, if you love having your coffee around a specific time, try scheduling your new habit either right before or right after. Soon, that new habit will become enjoyable by association. 

Second, be realistic. But, also be gentle with yourself. 

We make plans and sometimes the Universe laughs. It could be that you initially thought scheduling your new habit after work was a great idea…but realized it’s a tad bit difficult with two screaming kids, the cat that scratched up the sweater you were planning to wear tomorrow, or the infamous gridlock on the 405 on your way home.

Don’t fret. You didn’t fail, friend. You just gotta restrategize for an alternate time that would be more suitable. Remember that it’s better to try than not do it at all. 

And finally, change the way you look at your new habit.

Perspective is a lens we can always adjust to sharpen or shift our focus. 

For example, you don’t have to do yoga on Saturdays. You get to. 

You aren’t great at meditating for more than 3 minutes at a time...yet.

Little adjustments to your perspective make all the difference. This isn’t to say that you should sugarcoat anything for the sake of accepting it. 

However, this is to say that being mindful of the fact that practice makes progress–not perfection–is often a better way to look at things. Especially new habits.

You’ve already made the choice to live better and be better. I’d say you’re already on the right path to habitville. 

Read more about resistance in Steven Pressfield’s book, Do the Work:Overcome Resistance and Get Out of Your Own Way

“Like a magnetized needle floating on a surface of oil, Resistance will unfailingly point to true North – meaning that calling or action it most wants to stop us from doing. We can use this. We can use it as a compass. We can navigate by Resistance, letting it guide us to that calling or purpose that we must follow before all others. … The more important a call or action is to our soul’s evolution, the more Resistance we will feel toward pursuing it.”

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3 Truths I’ve Learned from Practicing Yoga

I have a few confessions. I can’t touch my toes. I can barely hold a tree pose for more than 15 seconds before wobbling over. My warrior pose sometimes looks like I’m a warrior begging for mercy.

Like most of you, I carry my stress in two places: in my shoulders and my hips. So, some basic stretches/poses are challenging because the tension creates a resistance band effect.

Despite that, I push and push on, one millimeter of space at a time.

Holding deep stretches really gives you some time to think! Here are just some truths I’ve learned from practicing yoga:

Truth #1: Just because something is creating tension or resistance in your life, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to push past it. 

You know that feeling of pushback? The pushback from your hamstrings when you’re stretching after a long day. The pushback from your brain when you’re curious about trying something new. The pushback from unsupportive people who don’t get why you are bothering with a new venture.

Doesn’t matter what kind of pushback it is – physical, emotional, or mental– the feeling at the pit of your stomach remains the same. The feeling says, just let it go. Back off. Let’s get back to the norm.

You could back off. But, did backing off help you get ahead? Probably not. 

That tension is still there. It’s part of the growing pains of trying something new, such as getting into that deeper stretch or pushing past a learning curve to finally master a skill you’ve been working on. 

In fact, some of my most rewarding experiences came only after I chose to push past the relentless tension.

Are you going to wobble in the meantime (literally and figuratively)? Oh, heck yes you are. This brings us to the next lesson:

Truth #2: You have to acknowledge instability before getting grounded. 

Last week, I was at a Mama Bird Yoga & Paint Night event and the theme centered around tree imagery. We talked about how trees naturally ground themselves with deep roots, how they grow and survive through adverse conditions, how they provide life and comfort, and so on.

Guess which pose we practiced during Yoga? Yup!  The Tree Pose (a.k.a. Vrksasana). 

Foot goes up, foot slips down. Foot goes up and stays up. Hands go up, body starts to wobble. Foot goes down again. Foot goes up again…on and on. 

If you’ve done this pose you probably know what I’m talking about. Unless you are a pro at this, in which case, I am envious.

By foot slip/wobble sequence #9, the frustration started to rise, and with that, more wobbles. 

The more frustrated I got, the more unstable I felt. 

It took a few deep breaths, finding my center within, and a moment of two grounded feet to feel I was ready to try again. 

Success at last.

Until Christine said, “Okay, now switch to your other foot!”

Jokes and wobbles aside, I felt more rooted by that point because I acknowledged that though this was hard, I could always find my ground and try again.

That brings me to my final truth: 

Truth #3: Sometimes you just gotta breathe it out. 

There’s a reason your yoga instructor says “take one more deep breath” right before you push a bit deeper into a stretch. Or right before you melt into the ground in Shavasana–my personal fav.  

You are breathing life and calmness into the places that need it. 

But, don’t we always breathe? 

Of course, we do. You’re doing it right now without even thinking while you read. It’s also when we think about it that we bring ourselves to the present. 

Earlier I mentioned that pit in our stomach when we feel physical, mental, or emotional tension. Much of that tension stems from fear and/or resistance to what could be. Not the reality of what is at this specific moment. 

Practicing something as simple as counting our breath in for 4 seconds as it fills up our lungs, and out for 4 seconds as it rushes through our nose can be a powerful way to bring you back to the present, easing the tension you hold for an outcome you’re worrying about that may not even happen. 

Send that breath where you need it. To your stubborn hamstrings. To the center of your anxiety-ridden chest. To the pit in your stomach. 

You’ll find that you are rejuvenated and grounded, and once again ready to take on life’s challenges.

Join Christine at her yoga studio in North Hollywood. First class is Free!